The 44-year-old actor covers the August issue of and says the death of his father, Winston, had him spiraling through a midlife crisis. Winston died in 2013 after getting diagnosed with lung cancer that year.
“I got to a place where I wasn’t even living anymore,” he says of how he dealt with his grief. “I was becoming a robot with my work. I have no fear of jumping out of burning cars or out of buildings on set, but in reality, I couldn’t run one hundred meters. I just felt out of touch with reality.”
“I had forgotten what it is to feel that burn on your tongue, when your adrenaline is going so much and you’re in fight or flight,” he recalls. “I was like, . .”
Elba named his now 3-year-old son, Winston, after his late father. The actor says he and his girlfriend at the time, got to tell his dad they were expecting just seven days before his death.
Pick up Esquire on the news stands now with Idris on the cover.